Thursday, June 21, 2012

The Importance of Being Earnest...

I know I started the last post with a definition, but just because I can...

Earnest: Adjective: Resulting from or showing intense conviction.

When I started this weight loss journey, something about it was different.  Then I realized that it wasn't something it was someone.  Me.  I was different.  My epiphany on the hillside at Jay Peak had done something to me.  I wanted more.  More from life and more from myself.

I had done diets and getting more active in the past, but this time I was different, my perception was different.

I began to live my life in earnest.  I began to exercise in earnest.

I could say "I began the road to living my life in earnest" but I don't think that true living can only occur once I've reached my end goal.  This process, this rehab of my physical well being is an awakening.  I'm beginning to think of and anticipate being able to do things I couldn't do last year.  I may try water skiing again this summer, if I feel that I have the strength (last year I did a number to my forearms...oof!) for it.

There's a conviction and a strong desire for health and physical evolution here.  This blog is helping with the emotional evolution that must go along with it.

I looked in the mirror this morning and while I could still see that I have a long way to go, I could also see a stronger, more fit person looking back at me.  There's strength in my stance and strength in myself that wasn't there before.  There's less of my physically, but more of me in strength and wellness.  I'm 1 lb away from 30 lbs gone and it feels amazing!

I've found myself looking around for new classes to try out and feel excited and perhaps a bit nervous, but there's always an excitement.

So I guess what I'm trying to impart here is that I've found the secret to losing weight:

I'm doing it in earnest.  I feel this change right to my very core.  While my turning point involved a physical activity, it was an emotional and mental clarity that just rang through to the deepest, darkest part of me.  All that baggage, all that sh*t that had me packing on the pounds in order to hide from the world became irrelevant, it didn't matter any more.  I'll still have to deal with some of those things, but they were no longer feeding on my insecurities.  I began to feel that I had worth, I was worthy of living and of living life to its fullest potential.

So here I am world!  I'm alive!

1 comment:

  1. Hey Amanda,

    I just wanted to let you know that I think this blog is very brave and inspiring. Keep the posts coming.